We all have regrets. Mine, more often than not, are about things I did not do. Moments when I was too afraid to act. Moments that passed without me taking action. Words that I missed to say. And more often than not, those things were not done or the words have not been said because I was afraid.

Thinking back, I am wondering how my life would look like if I would do all those things, and say those words. How different my life would be if I would face my fear and go on.

My life might be better, or my life might be worse. No matter what my life would be, I am sure that my life would be different. I would be a different person. I would experience different things and probably even thought different thoughts.

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What would happen if you would live a different life? If you made different decisions?

My friend today asked me: “Do you ever wonder what would happen if you would stay back home, and you would not move abroad? Would you still have a good life?”

My answer at that was: ” I would be different. I was not happy with who I was then. I felt so different all the time. Moving abroad gave me the opportunity to recognize that my difference is a good thing. I grew into a more confident person, that celebrates my uniqueness. On the other side, I do not see myself having the same experience back home.”

While this is completely true, it is true also that if I would stay home and not move abroad, my life would be different. I would probably find another way out of how to live my life, not to feel so different. It might be I would grow into a confident person, understanding we are all different, or it could be I would give up, and hide my uniqueness.

Who knows…

I am who I am because of my past

I might be who I am today, only shaped by different experiences and different people around me. Or I would be someone completely new. In the end, only one thing is sure – I know who I am today, because of my past decisions that I remember. If I regret them? Well – I do not really regret them.

Sometimes I wish I would not have to experience the pain and sorrow. As probably also you want the same dear reader. It would be great if people would not die if we would never be hurt if we would not experience pain. Yet, all those experiences shape us into who we are.

And I am proud of who I am.

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Regret and Wish

Being proud of who I am, means not regretting my decisions and events in my life, even though sometimes I wish things would be different. Wishing things would be different and regret are not the same things though. I wish my grandad would still be alive, yet his death shaped me into the person I am today.

Doing the best I can

Another thing that I believe is important to highlight here is also the fact, that I believe I am always doing the best I can – with the knowledge, resources, and abilities at that time. Really believing that, means also that I have compassion for myself and belief that I could not have done things differently at that time. So why regret something that I know happened at that time, and I did the best I could at that moment?

Time does not stop or go backward

The third reason for not keeping regrets is the simple fact that the past can not be changed. The past is the past. Gone in the second that we realize it is there. The only power we have in our hands is the power to change something right now. So let do it – now. Let’s look back at the past to learn from it, but then let’s move on. Let’s let the past be past.

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We all have regrets.

Things we wish we would do differently. Words we wish we would not say. Acts we wish we would not do. Things we wish we would do. Goals we wish we started to work on sooner. Important things we wish we would recognize before it was too late.

The best we can do right now, however, is to know that we wish things would be different, but we understand that we did the best we could in a given moment. No matter what happened in the past we did the best we know and now we are ready to learn from that experience no matter how painful it was. And with that a pain becomes a learning that enriches our life and makes us feel grateful we were able to get the best out of the grey experience we lived through.

I wish for you, you would let your regrets go, and welcome the learning of what happened. I wish for you to use that learnings from your past to create a better and brighter life you desire.

Love and magic to you,

Anja

One thought on “3 Reasons to not feel regret for the past

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